I wrote up this blog post story based on meditations, dreams, and real life experiences I’ve had. Instead of explaining each experience individually, I’ve decided to create a shorter more cohesive narrative that can be used later as a guided experience that others may go through.

Slowly, I noticed subtle sensations in my body. And then let my mind slip from the grasp of what was around me. My eyes sank into nothing. The vision of dark blemishes beneath my eyelids faded in and out, slowly building an internal reality within me. The dark blemishes grew over my internal vision, palsing, growing and expanding, taking over my view. Once my eyes were given into this dark pulsing, a light appeared ever so small slowly expanding with each pulse, akin to the rhythm of a heartbeat. The white light formed into a circle, and then a spiral. That spiral grew inward as it expanded within itself. The spiral started to form into a cave of light, different wavelengths of color and particles reflecting into the streams of time and presence. The mouth of the cave shines in contrast to the darkness around it.

A formless presence calls out to me as I approach the spiraling cave. the tongue it speaks in shakes my understanding of words. No words are used, but instead meaning is encapsulated without words. An expression of depth and meaning our words cannot attain. It’s like having a direct channel of communication where someone can just understand what you mean without saying anything. This presence urged me to enter the cave. Awestruck by the vastness of this communication, I too felt my presence being expanded. I felt my mind enter this cave of light. And as I progress through, I notice how time starts to unify. What is now and then, and what will come after, becomes contained within itself. There was no linear progression of time but rather an all-at-once experience of all things happening simultaneously. This time warped cave grew brighter as I ventured deeper. I saw myself walking in all different perspectives outside my own personhood seeing where I was and where I am and where I am to be.

The deeper I got into the cave, I noticed a bright light leaving an impression of an exit. As I became closer to this light, I could feel my essence was woven into it, as if I was this light or rather, this light was all I could ever be. I felt my formless presence become absorbed into this light.

I felt like a cup of water that was spilled into an ocean. Becoming one with the all-encompassing presence, expanding infinitely outward and inward. Going in every direction, yet all directions led to the same place. That same place was everywhere but not really anywhere. I could not contain myself, for the “self” was no longer I was one with which was many but the same.

The light was impossible for my brain to contain. My mind searched for itself and all it found was all that ever was or is. The impression upon my state was one of pure singularity. All that was, is, and will be within itself. In this singularity there was an incomprehensible goodness expressing itself in infinite ways. This goodness vibrated formlessly through the smallest of molecules and atoms to the vastness of universes and cosmos. In an instant my presence was contained within the singularity. I was formless, yet I had a sense of self. I felt a communication take place within the presence of myself, overtaking my mind. The essence of my mind was flooded with an unwavering love without beginning nor end, a love that could only be described as timeless, without cause, and unconditional. I felt every inch of myself or lack thereof was not only loved but cherished to an unfathomable level. It was as if my soul was taken into the loving embrace of an eternal and ethereal parent. The love or “goodness” felt as if I had returned home to a loved one I had missed dearly. The Good was within my mind, but more importantly, my mind was within the Good, and completely overtaken by it. As I searched for explanations for this phenomenon, I became aware of my body again. The light around me started to fade and I felt my mind returning to the body. The goodness I was experiencing didn’t leave my mind, but it was as if my mind simply couldn’t be aware of it in the same way.